The Dr. Carolyn Show!

Have you ever used google to search your own name? What did you find? If you didn’t find yourself, your ministry, your business, your CD or your book, then you aren’t playing in the major league.   

The Pew Internet Statistics reveal that 1.5 billion people are using the internet and 91% of internet users log on to search for services and products.  What this means is that if you can not be found on the internet, then you diminish your opportunities to meet the needs of those that desire and are looking for your service.  But don’t worry, we have a solution!

Gerald Weber, CEO of Search Engine Optimization and Marketing Solutions will be my guest Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 11 am on my Blog Talk Radio Show.  Gerald will be sharing insider secrets on how to generate traffic and land yourself on the front page of Google.  

Can’t tune in live?  Don’t worry,  you can always go to Blog Talk Radio to listen to the recording or go to Itunes, search for Carolyn Miller and subscribe for free.  You’ll never miss an episode.   

So, grab a pen,  paper, and cup of coffee and tune in to the Dr. Carolyn Show where we teach you how to REALLY  get good at life.    
Click Here to Listen to the Show!

Take Your Shot!

Driven By Love

There are few things more beautiful than a father’s love.

Click the link below to listen to a heart-warming story about a father–driven by love!

Driven-By-Love.mp3

 

Turn up the Quiet!

One of my most favorite past times is spending the weekend at the lake with my husband. It’s a restorative experience–like java to my soul!  Our days there are relatively uneventful–just filled with fishing, boating, or sitting around talking to family and friends.

Sometimes I take a book or my laptop with me with the intention of getting some work done, but most of the time I just sit around doing nothing at all. These visits are a welcome change from my daily routine, which leave me strengthened and refreshed–full of insight and inspiration.

When we return from the quietness of the lake, I always become hypersensitive to the noise back at home. We live close to a highway and the freeway noise is magnified by the contrast of the still mornings on the lake when the only thing that disturbs the quiet is a splash from a fish jumping in the water. The difference between the restorative nature of “quiet” versus the depleting tendency of “noise,” becomes apparent.

“Noise” comes from the latin word for “nausea” or “seasickness.” It reflects a type of disturbance that is caused by too much movement or too many loud and confusing sounds. When we apply this definition to our present day, noise is reflected by too much work, time on the internet, television, or too much time talking on the cell phone.  The result of this imbalance is “seasickness” in the form of irritability, fatigue, overwhelm and depletion. Like the non-stop echo of traffic on a busy freeway, a noisy life is cluttered with busyness and too much activity.

In contrast, “quiet” comes from the Latin word “repose” which, according to The New Oxford American Dictionary, means “a temporary rest from activity, excitement or exertion; a state of peace, composure, and harmony.” Quiet is reflected by time to think, pray, rest, play, love, and be refreshed. The Bible says, that it is in quietness and confidence that you will find strength (Isaiah 30:15) and it is a “quiet and peaceable” life that we are encouraged to live. (1 Timothy 2:2)

See, when you work, you pour out as you give to your family, friends, customers, or clients.  This activity draws from and takes away your strength. But when you balance your work with times of rest and quiet, you position yourself to receive by allowing the world to give back to you. Quiet times and restful places are like God’s fueling stations designed to strengthen and restore you.

If you are weary or depleted and need to be recharged, turn down the noise in your environment–find a place of peace and quiet. You don’t have to go on an elaborate vacation to experience restoration.  You can find your “quiet place” right at home. Just choose a “quiet time” and turn off your computer, television or blackberry. Leave an auto response letting your friends and family know that you are away –busy working on all the things that you are “NOT” going to do at the moment!  Go get your ipod, a good book or nothing at all.  Kick your feet up or snuggle in your favorite  chair and then…turn up the quiet!

Listen to Your Life!

I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends who recently enjoyed a week-long Spring Break.  When I asked about how she was doing, she described experiencing a sense of dread just before she went back to work. 

She said she fought through her emotions by telling herself that in this economy, she should be grateful to even have a job.  Furthermore, she told me that she was behind on grading her exams, but told herself that by putting them off to the last minute, she was able to quickly “jump back into the swing of things.”  

After she finished, I belted out, ”That’s bull!”   

“Huh?”

“Yes!  That’s bull.”  You know—the stuff we try to avoid when we attend the Texas Livestock Show and Rodeo!

See, I have known my friend for nearly thirty years.  True to her early days as our High School Cheerleading Captain, she remains one of the most positive, fun-loving, and energetic educators I know!  She loves learning, teaching, and sharing with others—she loves her work!

“I just think your sense of dread was an unconscious message that you put off grading.”

“I don’t know.” 

“Think about it.  If you were all caught up and didn’t procrastinate, you would have been energized and happy to return to class—as you usually are.”

“Well, maybe you’re right.   Now that I think about it, I didn’t feel this way before Spring Break and my negative feelings began to leave once I started grading the exams.”

I could certainly relate to my friend.  After all, I recently woke up with a similar sense of dread.   But before attempting to bridle my feelings and force the negative ones to be subdued by the positive, I asked, “What is this feeling trying to say to me?” 

I had a number of things to do and realized that my sense of overwhelm was an indication that something on my agenda was misaligned.   I quickly listed my responsibilities.  Then, I shifted, focused on my chief priorities and sketched a plan of attack.  Like my friend, my disturbing emotions subsided as I began to work on the things that were most important.  In place of dread was a sense of peace—an internal signal that I was back on track.  The next day, I woke up feeling rested and excited about beginning a new day!

Take a moment to assess your feelings.  Do you feel confused, sad, anxious, or angry or do you feel energized, peaceful, and full of life?  Before you overlook, dismiss or even try to control your emotions ask yourself,  “What are my feelings trying to tell me today?”

Where are you–and are you dancing?

I had a great conversation with Wendy Y Bailey. We were discussing the importance of appreciating and celebrating “the moment.” The discussion reminded WendyY of a website about a guy named Matt.  Matt figured out a way to travel to 39 countries and 7 continents…just to dance. From the deserts-to the jungles-to the ocean-to the city, Matt danced and got others to dance with him.  I normally do not post anything that I believe would be offensive, but despite the title, Matt’s video is a beautiful reminder of the importance of finding joy right where you are and celebrating now– in your very own way.  So, I ask for forgiveness if the title has offended you.  My purpose in sharing Matt’s journey is to remind you of your own.  So turn up the volume! It’s your time to dance!

No Looking Back!

If you live long enough, you’ll experience something you  wish never happened.  We all do.  When you get knocked down and experience a “blow,” there’s a temptation to get stuck in disappointment, guilt, anger, or bitterness.

If you find yourself in a sea of regret, listen to Damita Haddon’s song, No Looking Back. When the song is over, take the first step–make the decision to let go of the things that are behind you and determine to PRESS toward the good things that are ahead.  Stay encouraged!

Own Your Life!

I recently read an old passage of scripture that gave me new insight.  John 5 describes a man who suffered with an incurable disease for 38 years. At some point in his life, he made it to a pool of water that was known for it’s miraculous healing powers–but he never got in.  You see, an angel would come down from heaven, every so often to stir the waters–the first man in the pool would be healed.  I used to think that when Jesus came to visit the people at this “Pool of Bethesda,”  He was looking for someone who could use a miracle. However, during this read, it occurred to me, that there was no lack of miracles in this place as a pool of miracles was prominently positioned in their midst.  So perhaps rather than looking for people who needed a miracle, Jesus was looking for someone who had never capitalized on the miracles He already provided.  He found such a person in this man. 

Jesus approached the man and I imagine Him saying in our modern vernacular, “Dude…do you WANNA be well?”  I guess, underlying this question was another,”Do you just like being sick?!?” “Why are you tolerating this lifestyle of pain, disease, and illness when you got a pool right in front of you?” “Do you like living in the public emergency room?”  ”What about that mat?  Man, you’ve been tolerating a dirty mat for 38 years.  How come?” 

Surely embarrassed by the confrontation, the man must have looked around to see who was watching before responding, “Errrrrr…ummmmm…I wanna be healed, but ummmmm there was no one…..yeah, that’s it….there was no one to pick me up and put me in the pool–and when I tried–somebody always stepped in front of me—and—and—yeah, that’s it—they got in before I did.”  

Come on!  Thirty eight years in the same situation and that’s all you can come up with???  I wish he could have fast forwarded about two thousand years, because many of us are full of ideas when it comes to how this man could have pulled off a miracle over the course of thirty eight years.  ”Just sit in the pool till the angel comes.”  ”Roll into the pool at the first sign that it’s being stirred.”  ”Think teamwork–get a friend to help push you in!”  ”Do whatever you’ve gotta do, but for heavens sake…. don’t live stuck in a condition that you can get out of!”

Like this man, many of us have tolerated things in our lives that could have changed by now.  We tolerate extra pounds (my personal favorite), dead-end or unfulfilling jobs, type-2 diabetes, toxic friends, busyness, no money for a rainy day, poor compensation, insults, a life driven by someone else agenda, no vacation time or retirement, or unfulfilled dreams.   If asked if we want to change, we’d say, “Yes, of course!”… and then conjure up a reason for why it hasn’t happened.  But, if we got to the core of our immobility, the answer would not be that things haven’t changed because we couldn’t make it to our miracle.  The real answer would be, “I  tried before, but got discouraged–I’ve been too lazy– I don’t know how–I lost confidence–I’ve been paralyzed by fear–I’ve gotten use to this pain and it doesn’t bother me any more–I’m afraid to try, because I don’t want to be disappointed again.”   The truth is that we have listened to and obeyed our sabotaging thoughts and over the course of years, we have become exactly what we’ve been thinking.

You might assume that after hearing the man’s answer, Jesus would have told the people in the community to help this man out, or would have called in an angel to come on down and stir up the waters, have the disciples block the crowd and then pick the man up and put him in the pool… or better yet, He would have simply allowed him to touch His garment and be made whole. But Jesus didn’t do any of those things.  In a nut shell, He told the man to “Get up—take your mat with you–and walk out of there!”  Wow!  After reading that passage, I thought, “You mean he never needed the water in the first place?”  No.  He just needed to DO something about his situation.

The man didn’t need the angel to stir up the water, a friend to push him in, or a healing pool–centered in the middle of a commune.  He didn’t even need some divine moment that gave him permission to go for it. What he needed was to stand up and own his life.  The moment he aligned his desire, belief and action, he received the miracle that eluded him for so many years.     

What miracle are you still waiting for?  Own YOUR life.  Get up, take your mat and walk into your destiny!

Coping with Financial Stress

Money—do you have enough of it? Will you be able to take care of your family and keep the things you’ve worked so hard to get? Financial uncertainty is causing people to personally feel the impact of a stressed economy. A recent survey by the American Psychological Association indicates that money is a source of stress for nearly 80 percent of Americans and a declining economy is taking an emotional toll nationwide.

Stories of people taking matters into their own hands are told across the country. A financial analyst from Los Angeles, experiencing his own money problems, committed murder-suicide by killing his family and then taking his own life—he left behind a note blaming an impending foreclosure as the reason for his actions. Similarly, when deputies arrived to evict a 90-year-old widow from the home she lived in for 40 years, Ada Polk shot herself in her chest.

Economic downturns have historically resulted in psychological distress. However, the following coping strategies can help you prevent an emotional meltdown in the midst of tough economic times.

STAY CALM
If you feel yourself panicking take a break. Breathe deeply, refocus, and give yourself a few minutes of positive self-talk. Limit your exposure to money discussions—turn off of the news if you have to. Schedule an intermission from your financial woes and allow yourself time to enjoy a pleasurable activity. A regular pause and shift in focus will relieve frustrations and create inner calm.

CONTROL YOUR ROUTINE
Financial loss causes many to feel powerless and out-of -control. Learn to control what you can and let go of what you cannot. Though you cannot regulate the global economy, you can manage simple things like going to bed and getting up at the same time each day. Continuing your routine in the midst of your financial crisis will reduce the stress of ambiguity and unpredictability and help recapture a sense of empowerment.

CREATE A PLAN
Write down your specific financial stressors and create a plan to address them. Consider ways to reduce expenses, pay off debt, or create additional streams of income. Seek professional support to develop a strategic plan, and then share your goals with a trusted friend or family member who will provide support and accountability. Check out Crown Financial Ministries for free online financial coaching.  The process of crafting a plan will help quell your fears and generate hope.

DO SOMETHING HEALTHY
Stress is one of the primary reasons why people relapse or begin engaging in addictive behaviors. The irony is that such habits only serve to increase rather than decrease anxiety. To lower your stress, skip that third cup of coffee and avoid unhealthy vices like overeating or consuming too much alcohol. Opt for healthy activities. Begin an exercise regimen, take on a low-cost hobby, or get involved with a charity. Engaging in healthy activities can help channel your energy and facilitate personal growth.

CULTIVATE GRATITUDE
The consuming nature of economic pressures can often cause you to focus on what you don’t have and loose site of what you do. Write a list of things you are thankful for. Do this daily and share your list with others. If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, don’t feel guilty–just join the free 5-day “Practice of Gratitude” e-course at the Gratitude Circle.   You will find that an attitude of gratitude will cultivate a positive perspective and defuse the negative emotions that are zapping your energy.

GET HELP
Financial difficulties can cause feelings of shame and tempt you to isolate. Don’t withdraw—you don’t have to carry your financial burdens alone. Reach out and talk to someone who can help. Gather the courage and ask for support from friends and family. If you find you are experiencing constant fear, fatigue, irritability, anxiety, or feelings of sadness— contact a psychologist or professional counselor who will help you address your financial worries.

Take action and safeguard your health. Get started on these stress-coping strategies knowing that “nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be overcome.” ~ Marie Curie

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